They Just Keep Passing Me By....

They just keep passing me by.....Weekends that is!! I must say that most of the time I am very busy. Busy doing for others. Have I said that before? Probably!

Today, I believe is day four of my journey and although I have made a few small steps (Clap Here) I am still far off my mark. I had a great weekend doing for others...I accompanied my little Girl Scout Troop to the Maritime Aquarium in Norwalk, CT for an overnight on Saturday afternoon and then when I returned to NYC on Sunday afternoon, I hurried with sleeping bag and backpack in hand to get fitted for and make deposit on a bridesmaid dress for a September wedding. I am not going to complain...but I will put on record that I did nothing to achieve my goals this weekend.

In the bible it says that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35)--and I guess Jesus understood that mankind would evolve into an unbalanced world of givers and takers. But it just seems sometimes that the givers give far too much and well the takers basically take all they can get. My mom jokes about my little niece, who is 10 months old, being a bully because she takes whatever she wants from others by any means necessary....usually grabbing very quickly with her little hands.. or through sheer manipulation-who can resist her plea when her bottom lip is poked out as she lightly whimpers. It almost makes your heart melt. Isn't she just exemplifying the actions of most people in this world? She is getting what she wants and/or what she needs. Should her spirit be killed and termed bully for doing that? As I experience life more I realize that maybe being aggressive and grabbing what you want out of life isn't necessarily a bad thing. No one is just going to give you things just because you are nice or because you say please and thank you!!
They may not even give it to you because you really need it or deserve it either.

Believe me, I have done the leg work on this subject. I have always tried to do the right thing by people. I have waited my turn, given a lot to others sincerely, worked really hard and committed myself to doing things with excellence...I have basically subscribed to the Do Right Theory. But yet sometimes I wonder, to what end. I am blessed I must admit..I have a job, I have a home of my own, I can pay my own bills, I have an education,a few good friends and of course my family...but I often wonder is there more out there for ME!!

I did have a small win this weekend. It is kind of funny because upon arrival at the Maritime Aquarium when our group was shown to our sleeping area in the Marine Lab, there stood a Hippo Head on the floor that I decided would be my sleeping quarters for the night. Until...one of the little Girl Scouts (10 years old) in our group decided that she had "dibs" on the hippo. She proceeded, after she said she had "dibs", to put her sleeping bag in the hippo and to lay all over it. We taunted each other about who would actually sleep in the Hippo Head for the balance of the evening. Yes, I a grown woman of 35 years was entangled in a battle with a 10 year old about a big toy. As bedtime approached, she ran off to change into her bed clothes and as she left the space where the Hippo Head stood I began to unravel my sleeping bag and to claim my space. I tossed her little sleeping bag to the side and began to make my bed for the evening. When she returned, she gave me the evilest look that she could and scoffed at me. The battle had ended and I WON!! I defeated a 10 year old. Or so I thought. HHHMMMM!! What do you think happened.

Well, I crawled inside the Hippo Head and was a bit to tall for it. I would not be defeated by that. I pulled out an extra blanket to make a pillow and tried to make it an extension to the contraption so that I could lay straight for my night of rest. Needless to say, I tossed and turned all night long. I could never get comfortable. I was hot and I was cold. I woke up every hour on the hour until I couldn't take it any more. The next morning when I woke up by back was in knots....and it is still a bit stiff on Monday night. So maybe I didn't really win that battle with the 10 year old after all.

As I begin this week, I am going to focus more on small steps to achieving these two goals that I have set initially. One or two little things at a time this week. I have so many more goals to add to the list but don't want to overwhelm myself. But as spring turns to summer, operation "Getting It In" will swing into full effect. So one of these goals..preferably getting my house in order is going to have to exit stage left and hopefully really soon.

As a final note I must admit that I know in my heart that I will never quite give up my desire to help others and to be of service to today's youth and to the greater global community. I think I am just hard coded for this. I just pray, Oh God I pray, that I can, somehow, find a bit of balance and time for myself.

Will another week and weekend pass me by....I sure hope not!!